How Chika’s Salary Became a Community Project

On this week's episode of money made me do it, I will be sharing the story of a friend (with her permission, of course) but for the purpose of this blog, I will call her Chika.

Big Girl's Job

When Chika got her first real job in Lagos, she had dreams. Big ones. She was going to save, buy a small car, and maybe even move out from her uncle's boys' quarters, where the generator snored louder than the landlord.

₦150,000 a month wasn’t Jeff Bezos's money, but to her, it smelled like freedom. She imagined saving, investing, and maybe even going on weekend trips to Ouidah or Accra.
But by the first month, Chika realized something uncomfortable: her salary had more dependents than her bank account could carry.

This invisible burden had a name,  the Black Tax.

Black Tax

Black tax is not a government tax. It’s the unspoken expectation that once you start earning, you must financially support your family, even extended family. 

Think of it like the water drum in your compound back home. Whenever you fetched water, your mother would say,

Don’t just fetch for yourself. Refill the drum too.

You did it because you knew everyone used that water, your siblings, cousins, even visitors. 

Now, as an adult, your salary is that water, and your family? They’re still waiting by the drum for you to fetch water (your money) for them. 

You Can't Say No

You can’t say no, because they helped you grow up. They fed you, paid your school fees, maybe even sold land to send you to university. So now that you’re earning, they expect you to give back.

Sometimes, this giving back helps a lot, your sister stays in school, your mom gets her medicine, your family eats, but if you're not careful, you’ll spend everything helping others and have nothing left for your own goals. No savings, no investments, no backup plan.

The Day Salary Became Public Property

Chika’s first mistake was excitement. She posted “God did it!” on WhatsApp with a picture of her office ID card. Before she could even log into her work email, her uncle sent a message:

My beautiful niece, congratulations! We are proud of you. Don't forget me o. You know I have to buy my BP drugs to stay alive.

Then her aunt in the village called.

Your daddy said you are working now. Please, small thing for my new business, abeg.

Requests flooded in faster than TikTok notifications.

By payday, Chika wasn’t budgeting for data and feeding anymore; she was budgeting for family emergencies she didn’t create.

How Black Tax Moves Like Wi-Fi

Black tax is silent but always connected. No login is required.
When her salary dropped, it wasn’t just hers. It was for the generator repair at home, Grandma’s hospital check-up, and her younger brother’s new school shoes.

Nobody asked if Chika had transport fare to get to work, if she could afford decent accommodation, or if ₦150,000 was enough after Lagos devoured ₦35,000 in transport and ₦15,000 in "looking like you have sense" expenses.

The Funny But Painful Requests

Chika once sent ₦5,000 to a cousin for "exam registration." Two weeks later, the cousin posted pictures at a pool party in Lekki, flexing with cocktail glasses.

Another time, an uncle demanded ₦30,000 urgently for a “medical emergency.” She later saw him dancing on Facebook Live at a burial ceremony, spraying ₦500 notes.

Each time she confronted them, they would act offended. After all, wasn’t she now a “big girl”?

Unwritten Rules of Black Tax

1. Guilt trips are premium.
If you say no, you’ll hear tales of suffering that will make you question your humanity.

2. Financial progress is monitored.
Buy a small car? They expect bigger donations. Change apartments? They expect bigger school fees coverage.

3. Your earnings are communal property.

Even your secondary school classmates will suddenly remember they were once close friends.

Why the Black Tax is a Bigger Monster in Nigeria

Chika quickly understood why the Black Tax feels heavier in Nigeria.

• No government support:

If your mother falls sick and you can't help, it's not like there's free healthcare waiting.

• Cultural conditioning:

Success is measured by how many people you "lift," even if you're struggling yourself.

• Unemployment epidemic:

In many families, only one or two people are working. Guess who the lucky ATM is?

How Chika Fought Back Without Fighting Her Family

She loved her family, but she knew love wouldn't save her from financial ruin, so she made changes.

Money Lessons From Black Tax

Lesson 1: Budget for Family Support
Chika carved out ₦10,000 every month as her "family fund." Once that finished, any new requests had to wait till the next month.

Lesson 2: Learn to Say No Gracefully
Instead of rude replies, she used polite shutdowns.

I'm saving for my rent renewal now, but I’ll support next month."
Simple, direct, and non-negotiable.

Lesson 3: Invest in Solutions, Not Handouts

She once paid for her cousin’s phone repair. The next month, another request came. She realized it made more sense to pay for skills. So she paid for that cousin to learn tailoring instead of giving endless ₦5k "urgent" money.

Lesson 4: Pay Yourself First

Before any giving, Chika paid herself through savings and investments. Only what remained was available for family support.

The Turning Point

One month later, her mother asked for ₦50,000 to help a distant relative pay rent. Chika looked at her budget, sighed, and calmly said:

Mummy, I can't kill myself. The only money with me is for tfare, I don't have any money to spare

Her mother laughed, but that was the beginning of new boundaries. Family still asked, but they now understood that "Chika Money" had limits.

Chika’s Money Motto Today

I will help where I can, but I refuse to burn out trying to save everybody.

She now saves aggressively, invests consistently, and supports wisely.

 

You First, Then Others

Chika learned the hard way that you can't fill other people's cups if yours is dry. Black Tax is real, but it doesn't have to be the end of your financial dreams.

Love your family, yes. Support them, yes. But remember: you owe yourself a future too.

Question for You:
If your salary had a CV, how many family members would it list as dependents?

I tell real money stories to break money shame, learn, and grow together.